I love it.

Ah yeah, let's talk about my obsession with figuring out what the hell love is. I've tried to pinpoint this kind of thing for years now, and I always seem to come up pretty empty-handed.

For example, one could think back and imagine that the first glance from some adorable chick in the front row of your 3rd grade English class sparked some kind of dormant, pubescent firecracker in your skull until suddenly... POW. You're in love, fool. But what the hell is it? How do you really even know what to think, or to do in those situations? Isn't it interesting??? I think it's down right obsession worthy.

It's one of those topics that people really do take for granted, until they watch some Matthew McConaughey movie or read some blog written by some single dude in Knoxville.

You've fallen in love, right?

If you just said no, for the love of God, just skip this entire blog and watch the video posted at the end. It will sum it all up for you. I guess if you have fallen in love at some point in your life, you know what I'm talking about. Weird stuff, huh? When did it hit you?

Oh, okay... so maybe you're one of those folks who think that it's not possible to fall in love until you're 10? 16? 19? 30? I bow to the "different strokes for different folks" rule, but I can say with confidence that I've fallen in love at least 124,456,034 times in my life. Sometimes my love affairs range only three or four minutes, and the good one lasted a solid four and a half years. Either way, I think it's easy for me to fall in love... probably to the point of being unhealthy or dangerous.

A gorgeous woman walked by me today while I was attempting a piss-poor parallel-parking job... and as soon as I saw her eyes, I was long gone. She had wavy brown hair, full lips and these really amazing eyes. Beyond that, it's all a blur, really... I can't say I remember much else. More so than her appearance or her walk, or whatever, I remember the exciting feeling I got when I saw her. That's the exciting part, to me. I like seeing something really, really beautiful in something and just trying to desperately hold on to that feeling. Does that make sense, faithful reader? I'm not an insane (or desperate) person, I swear—but damn—do I love falling in love.

{Editor's note: it's usually either after they physically talk, or after I notice that they have a tattoo of a pentagram on their right boob that my heart breaks... and that's understandable. For every damn 124,456,034 times that I've fallen in love, there's a heartbreak right behind it. However, that part is a given. It's totally lucid. And this blog is about love, sucka... so we'll move on.}

At this point in the blog you're thinking... "ah, this dumb son of a bitch isn't in love... he's totally lusting after these chicks! Or crushing on 'em, or maybe even stalking 'em!!"

Yeah, yeah, label it whatever you want, but to me, it's way more romantic, hilarious and down right fun to call it love instead of those other things. Besides, half the time I think of the cuddling part before I think of the sex part. Seriously, man. Half the time. Whatever.

So back to my point—if there really is any—where did this all come from? I see love as more of this strange inspiration instead of some kind of creepy deadly-ninja-warrior-type of dangerous element. (When I can.) I try to make it fun when I can (or when it's not beating the ever-living hell out of me). I like to think about it so much that I can almost feel those tears coming from out of nowhere... and then shift my thoughts directly to Spider-man 3, which is exactly the opposite of love. The combination evens itself out pretty well.

When I think back on my childhood, there is one bit of imagery that really, really, really took a hold of me and seriously impacted me probably more than anything regarding love up until that moment of my life. It still stands, to this day, as being the thing that truly made love something exciting for me... and absolutely terrifying at the same time. It means a lot, and even when I watch it today, I seriously feel like I'm 11 years old again—wearing a horrifying early 1989-1990 multi-colored, two-sizes-too-big sweater at an awkward school dance.

Dammit, I love those memories!!!!!

To see exactly what jump-started my idea of love and to get a handle on how important it is to me, please watch this short video:




Enjoy your day, fall in love a time or two for me, and keep me posted.

Much love, of course (until you see the pentagram on my boob),

-McClane