I've never been too comfortable behind the handlebars of a big ass motorcycle before, but luckily this YouTube video does an AMAZING job of motorcyle riding instruction. If you feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable riding a bike... watch this video. It helped me out... big time.
Happy motoring!
-M
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
"Throw Me Dat Viskey!!!"
I'll go ahead and tell you guys... this is one of the finest pieces of cinema ever recorded.
I won't marry a woman unless she agrees to show this scene on a giant screen right in the middle of the ceremony. (After the topless rodeo.)
Enjoy!!
"Let's shoot this fucker!"
-McClane
I won't marry a woman unless she agrees to show this scene on a giant screen right in the middle of the ceremony. (After the topless rodeo.)
Enjoy!!
"Let's shoot this fucker!"
-McClane
Monday, August 27, 2007
Generalizing the Slasher = Not Smart.
I know this was a comment left by my friend on the last post, but I felt so strongly about the comment that I decided to make an entirely new posting about it. (It's too good of subject matter to let it slide!)
The following is my friend Mark's comment:
I find the "this slasher movie [read: Halloween] is good and others [re: Friday the 13th, etc.] are not because this movie is 'well-made' and obviously directed by someone who is film literate" argument that sprang up around the time of this video clip very interesting.
On one hand, I can see the validity of this position, the one obviously posited by Ebert, but at the same time, I disagree and feel that trying to differentiate between films like Halloween and Friday the 13th is simply an example of the tyranny of bourgeoise definitions of "good taste." Vera Dita's "Games of Terror" (published in 1990) has an excellent articulation of this argument.
This is what I say to that:
Now this is just excellent. I'm really glad that I'm not alone here, because I also thought his generalizing, degrading view of other slasher films WAS a bit skewed.
While I reaaallly love what he's saying about the art of Halloween and how it IS truly well made (and I'm especially glad Siskel mentioned the music...that's definitely the key), I stand to object on his declaration of all other slasher films being "bad." (Or poorly made!)
Of course, I'm biased (being an ENORMOUS fan), but I still believe that the original Friday the 13th was just excellent horror film making. John Carpenter might have trumped them completely with the music and suspense escalation, but Friday the 13th has its own SERIOUS strengths. It's a completely different animal. It delivers in spades in wonderfully creepy atmosphere... and I feel that the "mystery killer" aspect of the film, by far, puts it up on another level. (Unless you start talking about "Terror Train.")
Even though it's widely remembered as a campy, funny, 70's summer camp kind of film... I stand by it today as being one of the scariest, intense, suspenseful movies of my life. It certainly will stand toe-to-toe with any of the stuff they're making today.
All this is just to say that I completely agree with your point about the tyranny of bourgeoise definition of "good taste," and I'd be very curious to read the recommended piece by Vera Dita. How can a film critic so easily generalize like this? It's probably just a little too much of personal opinion, bad personal experience (Ebert's dad, for example, might have put on a hockey mask from time to time and stabbed him... you know, for fun?), or it's that damn tyrannical bourgeoise doing what they did best.
Getting my ass to the chopper to avoid being stabbed,
-McClane
The following is my friend Mark's comment:
I find the "this slasher movie [read: Halloween] is good and others [re: Friday the 13th, etc.] are not because this movie is 'well-made' and obviously directed by someone who is film literate" argument that sprang up around the time of this video clip very interesting.
On one hand, I can see the validity of this position, the one obviously posited by Ebert, but at the same time, I disagree and feel that trying to differentiate between films like Halloween and Friday the 13th is simply an example of the tyranny of bourgeoise definitions of "good taste." Vera Dita's "Games of Terror" (published in 1990) has an excellent articulation of this argument.
This is what I say to that:
Now this is just excellent. I'm really glad that I'm not alone here, because I also thought his generalizing, degrading view of other slasher films WAS a bit skewed.
While I reaaallly love what he's saying about the art of Halloween and how it IS truly well made (and I'm especially glad Siskel mentioned the music...that's definitely the key), I stand to object on his declaration of all other slasher films being "bad." (Or poorly made!)
Of course, I'm biased (being an ENORMOUS fan), but I still believe that the original Friday the 13th was just excellent horror film making. John Carpenter might have trumped them completely with the music and suspense escalation, but Friday the 13th has its own SERIOUS strengths. It's a completely different animal. It delivers in spades in wonderfully creepy atmosphere... and I feel that the "mystery killer" aspect of the film, by far, puts it up on another level. (Unless you start talking about "Terror Train.")
Even though it's widely remembered as a campy, funny, 70's summer camp kind of film... I stand by it today as being one of the scariest, intense, suspenseful movies of my life. It certainly will stand toe-to-toe with any of the stuff they're making today.
All this is just to say that I completely agree with your point about the tyranny of bourgeoise definition of "good taste," and I'd be very curious to read the recommended piece by Vera Dita. How can a film critic so easily generalize like this? It's probably just a little too much of personal opinion, bad personal experience (Ebert's dad, for example, might have put on a hockey mask from time to time and stabbed him... you know, for fun?), or it's that damn tyrannical bourgeoise doing what they did best.
Getting my ass to the chopper to avoid being stabbed,
-McClane
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Roger Ebert and Me
I've got to tell you, I don't always agree with Ebert. Sometimes we're right on the same page, but mostly... I could set his reviews on fire and use them to warm my cold feet in the winter time. If it's summer, I'd throw them on the campfire. Or eat them for food if I was stranded on a deserted island alone. If there were cannibals on the deserted island with me, I'd wad the reviews up and throw them at the natives, or use the reviews to distract them somehow so I could get away. Either way, mostly, I disagree with the guy.
EXCEPT FOR THIS, which makes me absolutely excited and love Roger Ebert in the late 70's.
Enjoy!
-M
___________________________________________
P.S. I've seen this move an uncountable amount of times (it IS my very favorite horror film of ALL TIME), and I swear... EVERY TIME I see that scene with him slowly walking towards her after the kids scream... I literally almost shit myself. All the hairs on my arms stand up.. EVERY TIME!!!! That's amazing. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
EXCEPT FOR THIS, which makes me absolutely excited and love Roger Ebert in the late 70's.
Enjoy!
-M
___________________________________________
P.S. I've seen this move an uncountable amount of times (it IS my very favorite horror film of ALL TIME), and I swear... EVERY TIME I see that scene with him slowly walking towards her after the kids scream... I literally almost shit myself. All the hairs on my arms stand up.. EVERY TIME!!!! That's amazing. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
Friday, August 24, 2007
ALIEN vs. PREDATOR 2
I bet this will get removed pretty soon. But until it DOES get removed by 20th Century Fox... I would watch this. A lot.
An Alien & Predator movie that... feels like an Alien and Predator movie?? Whaaat? Who would have thought??
This trailer put my nuts in an old sock and cracked them over an old biker guy's face.
Woah.
-M
An Alien & Predator movie that... feels like an Alien and Predator movie?? Whaaat? Who would have thought??
This trailer put my nuts in an old sock and cracked them over an old biker guy's face.
Woah.
-M
Sommers... The Horror!!!
Well, Aint-it-Cool News just posted that director of "The Mummy," "Van Helsing" and "The Mummy Returns," Stephen Sommers, has been thrown into the director's chair of an upcoming live-action "G. I. Joe" film.
It all makes sense, really... just after Michael Bay's "Transformers" sucked the brains out of every living human being who could buy a movie ticket...now it's time to REALLY savagely tear apart Matt McClane's childhood memories.
I've got no love for Sommers' movies, and G. I. Joe, I feel, would work best in the hands of somebody a bit more gritty. I'd say this about any film ever made... but seriously... get Tony Scott on this bitch. Give him a really great hard "R" rating, and throw in some guns that actually kill when fired (instead of those red and blue lasers), and boobs. (At LEAST some Scarlett cleavage!!) Also: think about shooting the entire film without the use of "BIG LOB" because that guy SERIOUSLY annoyed the crap out of me. Unless, of course, he's played by Denzel Washington. Then you can make BIG LOB the central character. That's a-okay.
Or, here's another really new idea I had: shoot the entire movie on a giant, green screen and then just digitally put in all the backgrounds with computers. It sounds completely weird, I know, but I think it just might work.
Seriously, though, ATTENTION: Stephen Sommers: you hold one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOWS (and action figures) in your hands. If this movie turns out to be more like "The Mummy" and not like "Harsh Times," I'll write a very mean blog about how much it pissed me off. So just keep that in mind, brother.
YOOOOOOOOOO JJJOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-McClane
It all makes sense, really... just after Michael Bay's "Transformers" sucked the brains out of every living human being who could buy a movie ticket...now it's time to REALLY savagely tear apart Matt McClane's childhood memories.
I've got no love for Sommers' movies, and G. I. Joe, I feel, would work best in the hands of somebody a bit more gritty. I'd say this about any film ever made... but seriously... get Tony Scott on this bitch. Give him a really great hard "R" rating, and throw in some guns that actually kill when fired (instead of those red and blue lasers), and boobs. (At LEAST some Scarlett cleavage!!) Also: think about shooting the entire film without the use of "BIG LOB" because that guy SERIOUSLY annoyed the crap out of me. Unless, of course, he's played by Denzel Washington. Then you can make BIG LOB the central character. That's a-okay.
Or, here's another really new idea I had: shoot the entire movie on a giant, green screen and then just digitally put in all the backgrounds with computers. It sounds completely weird, I know, but I think it just might work.
Seriously, though, ATTENTION: Stephen Sommers: you hold one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOWS (and action figures) in your hands. If this movie turns out to be more like "The Mummy" and not like "Harsh Times," I'll write a very mean blog about how much it pissed me off. So just keep that in mind, brother.
YOOOOOOOOOO JJJOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-McClane
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
DUTCH TILT / GRATUITOUS WEB SITE IS LIVE!!!!
Hey guys,
I'm proud to announce that the official site of Dutch Tilt Gratuitous is up and running!
To dig in to the Dutch / Tilt Experience... AND PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR SOUL DEVOURED!!!
Have a great day,
-McClane
I'm proud to announce that the official site of Dutch Tilt Gratuitous is up and running!
To dig in to the Dutch / Tilt Experience... AND PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR SOUL DEVOURED!!!
Have a great day,
-McClane
Monday, August 20, 2007
NEW!!! Dutch Tilt / Gratuitous POSTERS!!!
Hey there faithful readers,
The all-new Dutch Tilt / Gratuitous movie posters are here... and these things are seriously creepy as hell. Dig in and let me know what you guys think!!!!! (Click on 'em to see them full size!)
The last poster is actually rated HARD R for insane amounts of gore. If you're under the age of 18, I'd strongly advise NOT to click on this link: SMASH MY NUTS, PLEASE.
Thanks for viewing guys, and have a great week!
-McClane
The all-new Dutch Tilt / Gratuitous movie posters are here... and these things are seriously creepy as hell. Dig in and let me know what you guys think!!!!! (Click on 'em to see them full size!)
The last poster is actually rated HARD R for insane amounts of gore. If you're under the age of 18, I'd strongly advise NOT to click on this link: SMASH MY NUTS, PLEASE.
Thanks for viewing guys, and have a great week!
-McClane
Dutch Tilt / Gratuitous... Set Visit #3
Hey guys,
Man, it was another IN-SANE night for Tommy Forrester and his crew last night, as we fought late into the midnight hours to create—by far—one of the most disturbing sequences I've had the pleasure of seeing in my entire life. While I don't want to give away too much, I'm happy to show off a couple of really great pictures from last night's rampage of terror.
Also be sure to check out the other set visits:
Behind the scenes #1
Behind the scenes #2
Enjoy the pics! (Thanks, Colleen!!!!)
Jared McClane and his battle damage. Although he's taking a second to enjoy a cold beer, don't think for a second that he's off his game. This guy can turn it on in the blink of an eye, man.
If anybody would like to clean up this bloody, mucus-filled vomit off Robert Manning's floor, it's probably still there, and I'm sure he'd appreciate it. Also, bring some air fresheners.
Ah yeah, the tools of the trade, sucka. Can you dig that makeup?
Shirtless Director Tommy Forrester and Set Manager Logan Propst ponder the inequities of the universe while blocking out the next shot. I'm not for certain, but I think Logan farted in this shot and it smelled like a burrito.
In retrospect, this shot is pretty awesome. Tiny drops of blood here and there... compared to a literal blood bath later in the film. Which do you prefer?
Sometimes he tries to pass for a vampire by wearing plastic teeth and talking in a Romanian accent, but really, Logan Propst just likes Jared McClane. A lot.
You will know us by the trail of blood.
Michael Duke and his splitting headache hangs out with veteran Jared McClane between shots on a cigarette break.
This stuff looks all gross and hairy, sure, but damn... it sure makes one helluva chunk of gore when added with lots of blood and human skin.
McClane and Vesser wait in line to take a piss, but get really frustrated when Matt McClane runs in and closes the door for 30 minutes after seeing the previous scene and losing his cookies.
What happened to this guy?
A very wasted Jared McClane (method acting, motherfuckers!) and Logan Propst pause to have a few shots of whiskey before the next scene.
Again with the bloody barf.... hey man, it happens. You drink more than a pint of blood and it can seriously make you ill.
In a moment of pure genius, Jared McClane catches a huge black snake with some weird, random grappling arm tool and burns its face off on a florescent light bulb. Luckily I was there to catch this in action.
This movie will mess you up, son.
Check back for more updates soon!!!!
-McClane
Man, it was another IN-SANE night for Tommy Forrester and his crew last night, as we fought late into the midnight hours to create—by far—one of the most disturbing sequences I've had the pleasure of seeing in my entire life. While I don't want to give away too much, I'm happy to show off a couple of really great pictures from last night's rampage of terror.
Also be sure to check out the other set visits:
Behind the scenes #1
Behind the scenes #2
Enjoy the pics! (Thanks, Colleen!!!!)
Jared McClane and his battle damage. Although he's taking a second to enjoy a cold beer, don't think for a second that he's off his game. This guy can turn it on in the blink of an eye, man.
If anybody would like to clean up this bloody, mucus-filled vomit off Robert Manning's floor, it's probably still there, and I'm sure he'd appreciate it. Also, bring some air fresheners.
Ah yeah, the tools of the trade, sucka. Can you dig that makeup?
Shirtless Director Tommy Forrester and Set Manager Logan Propst ponder the inequities of the universe while blocking out the next shot. I'm not for certain, but I think Logan farted in this shot and it smelled like a burrito.
In retrospect, this shot is pretty awesome. Tiny drops of blood here and there... compared to a literal blood bath later in the film. Which do you prefer?
Sometimes he tries to pass for a vampire by wearing plastic teeth and talking in a Romanian accent, but really, Logan Propst just likes Jared McClane. A lot.
You will know us by the trail of blood.
Michael Duke and his splitting headache hangs out with veteran Jared McClane between shots on a cigarette break.
This stuff looks all gross and hairy, sure, but damn... it sure makes one helluva chunk of gore when added with lots of blood and human skin.
McClane and Vesser wait in line to take a piss, but get really frustrated when Matt McClane runs in and closes the door for 30 minutes after seeing the previous scene and losing his cookies.
What happened to this guy?
A very wasted Jared McClane (method acting, motherfuckers!) and Logan Propst pause to have a few shots of whiskey before the next scene.
Again with the bloody barf.... hey man, it happens. You drink more than a pint of blood and it can seriously make you ill.
In a moment of pure genius, Jared McClane catches a huge black snake with some weird, random grappling arm tool and burns its face off on a florescent light bulb. Luckily I was there to catch this in action.
This movie will mess you up, son.
Check back for more updates soon!!!!
-McClane
The Removal
Hey guys,
So because my boss tells me that my talking about his magazine is "not the way he wants his business portrayed to the public," I'm respectfully removing all posts that involve that magazine that I work for, so nobody on Google or the people of Knoxville who read that magazine that I work for will be offended when I use the word "fuck" and mention stuff about how many times I got laid at that magazine that I work for's after party.
Through the wonderful usage of internet freedom and the first amendment to the constitution, I could post stuff all day on here about whatever I want. But since he "built the magazine from the ground up" and is "the publisher," I will respect his request and remove the goods.
So enjoy the blog, but don't expect to see any links or mention about that magazine that I work for in the future.
Take it easy... and if it's easy.... take it twice.
-McClane
P.S. Big Brother is watching.
So because my boss tells me that my talking about his magazine is "not the way he wants his business portrayed to the public," I'm respectfully removing all posts that involve that magazine that I work for, so nobody on Google or the people of Knoxville who read that magazine that I work for will be offended when I use the word "fuck" and mention stuff about how many times I got laid at that magazine that I work for's after party.
Through the wonderful usage of internet freedom and the first amendment to the constitution, I could post stuff all day on here about whatever I want. But since he "built the magazine from the ground up" and is "the publisher," I will respect his request and remove the goods.
So enjoy the blog, but don't expect to see any links or mention about that magazine that I work for in the future.
Take it easy... and if it's easy.... take it twice.
-McClane
P.S. Big Brother is watching.
Friday, August 17, 2007
The Vader Sessions
Due to a unbelievable amount of requests (and my own obsession with this), I'm proud to post "The Vader Sessions" right here for you to enjoy.
That video seriously changed my life.
Righteous,
-McClane
That video seriously changed my life.
Righteous,
-McClane
3:10 to Yuma
Not only have we not seen a decent western film made in at least 10 years, but we've DEFINITELY not seen a poster this cool... ever. I love the design of this piece, it's like something right out of my brain! Can you dig THAT?
Man, I'm super-stoked to see this one. If you've got the time, I'd highly suggest going HERE and watching the very-well-put-together trailer.
Ben Foster looks like a damn maniac in this film... I love that guy!!!
Enjoy!
-McClane
Man, I'm super-stoked to see this one. If you've got the time, I'd highly suggest going HERE and watching the very-well-put-together trailer.
Ben Foster looks like a damn maniac in this film... I love that guy!!!
Enjoy!
-McClane
Friday, August 10, 2007
Lars. I love this guy.
This trailer has got to be one of the most insane things I've ever seen in my life.
I absolutely LOOOOOVVVEEEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!
-McClane
P.S. ONE OF THE BEST MUSTACHES I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!
I absolutely LOOOOOVVVEEEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!
-McClane
P.S. ONE OF THE BEST MUSTACHES I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!
No Gym for Me.
This is EXACTLY why I don't go to the gym. This would totally happen to me... seriously.
It's a good thing I'm already built like a concrete shitter in a brick shithouse from all these abs-defining Cheetos and peanut butter.
Muah.
-McClane
It's a good thing I'm already built like a concrete shitter in a brick shithouse from all these abs-defining Cheetos and peanut butter.
Muah.
-McClane
I Wanna Put a BABY in your ASS!!!!
I LOOOOOOVEEE Old Dirty Bastard. God I miss that guy.
This is one of the best ODB stories I've seen yet:
"I think Old Dirty Bastard is what makes America great."
All praise due. The saga continues. Wu-Tang forever.
This is one of the best ODB stories I've seen yet:
"I think Old Dirty Bastard is what makes America great."
All praise due. The saga continues. Wu-Tang forever.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Dutch Tilt / Gratuitous POSTER Unleashed!!!
It is with great pleasure I present the official poster for "DUTCH TILT / GRATUITOUS," a film by Tommy Forrester:
(Click on the image to see it full size!)
It's looking great so far... check back for updates!
-McClane
(Click on the image to see it full size!)
It's looking great so far... check back for updates!
-McClane
Sunday, August 5, 2007
More on the Set from DDDDutch Tilttttttt/Gratuitoussssss!!!
This afternoon, my otherwise boring Sunday was shattered like Jared McClane shatters mentally retarded children's swim team records when Tommy Forrester called and invited me down to the set of his upcoming film, DDDDutch Tilttttttt/Gratuitoussssss!!!
I was delighted to visit with the guys during Tommy's scouting and blocking session for a very important climactic scene of the film. (Be sure to check out THIS link for the past blog and the accompanying photography from the first day of production!)
Again, without giving too much away... check out the below photos of another tremendous day on set with Tommy Forrester, Josh Vesser, Robert Manning and the infamous Jared McClane:
Arriving on scene, Josh Vesser, Writer/Director Tommy Forrester and Jared McClane started pounding beers in order to conceptualize the best shots possible. "I like to carry around this big ass suitcase for the hell of it," says Vesser. "This way, if somebody asks me, 'hey, can you help me out with this?' I can always say, 'sorry dude, I got this big fucking suitcase.'"
Do you dig on this cabin? If not, you better START digging on it, because it's where the shit goes down, man. For real.
Jared McClane and Robert Manning listen to Tommy Forrester as he simultaneously gives them direction for their scene and explains how to make the perfect southwestern-fried omelette using only a pair of hedge clippers, a burlap sack and your dick.
Forrester considers giving more secrets away about penis cooking techniques, but decides to leave it at the omelette.
McClane tries to demonstrate to Forrester that he understands the technique of flipping an omelette over using his penis. "Not quite," rebuttles Forrester, "your skill is promising, but your technique is all to hell," before pulling out his own penis and showing him how a true master gets it done.
This photo was taken just before this actual shot was filmed. In other words, Manning plays some tunes in this movie. Look for his album on the shelves in a few months.
Forrester takes aim and fires.
The McClane brothers sit on the back porch and discuss many important, life-changing topics... such as boobs, guns, motorcycles and whether or not a hot tub with 6 people in it would fall through the cabin's porch and kill everybody in it.
I just seriously wouldn't fuck with this guy.
McClane thought it would be a good time to figure out his budget for the next fiscal year and simultaneously do his taxes. Also important: That gun was loaded.
Yes, second amendment lovers, that's no pellet gun. In fact, it plays a crucial part in this film. It also can kill if it's put into the wrong hands. Like into the hands of a killer. Or a whole shit-ton of fire ants... who also kill. Or, I guess, communists, according to some propaganda I picked up the other day.
"Hmmph," says Forrester, "I never knew that shoes actually came this small. This Chick guy sure makes some damn fine Tracts."
Eager to share his new discovery of "Tiny Shoes," Forrester gladly hands the Tract over to Josh Vesser, who's eager to see Tommy's new discovery.
"Son of a bitch!" exclaims the camera man and deadpan source of humor for the crew, "Tommy was right... these shoes are fucking TINY!!!!"
Vesser's delightful smile caught the attention of McClane, who demanded that Vesser share the Tract with him immediately.
"Well I'll be a son-of-a-bitch's-uncle," screams McClane as he lays his eyes on the tiny, tiny shoes. "This is the smallest goddamn pair of shoes I've seen in my life!!!"
McClane saw Jared's glee from a distance, and politely asked McClane to hand it over so he could examine this special treat. "Check this shit out," says McClane as he hands it over to his dumbfounded family member.
"Dear Lord, how DO they make shoes THIS tiny???" screams McClane, before running over and smashing out the basement window and running through a nearby hayfield.
I hope you enjoyed the pics... be on the lookout for the Dutch Tilt / Gratuitous movie poster and Web site... coming soon!! Check back for updates!!!!
Blown away by those Tiny Shoes,
-McClane
I was delighted to visit with the guys during Tommy's scouting and blocking session for a very important climactic scene of the film. (Be sure to check out THIS link for the past blog and the accompanying photography from the first day of production!)
Again, without giving too much away... check out the below photos of another tremendous day on set with Tommy Forrester, Josh Vesser, Robert Manning and the infamous Jared McClane:
Arriving on scene, Josh Vesser, Writer/Director Tommy Forrester and Jared McClane started pounding beers in order to conceptualize the best shots possible. "I like to carry around this big ass suitcase for the hell of it," says Vesser. "This way, if somebody asks me, 'hey, can you help me out with this?' I can always say, 'sorry dude, I got this big fucking suitcase.'"
Do you dig on this cabin? If not, you better START digging on it, because it's where the shit goes down, man. For real.
Jared McClane and Robert Manning listen to Tommy Forrester as he simultaneously gives them direction for their scene and explains how to make the perfect southwestern-fried omelette using only a pair of hedge clippers, a burlap sack and your dick.
Forrester considers giving more secrets away about penis cooking techniques, but decides to leave it at the omelette.
McClane tries to demonstrate to Forrester that he understands the technique of flipping an omelette over using his penis. "Not quite," rebuttles Forrester, "your skill is promising, but your technique is all to hell," before pulling out his own penis and showing him how a true master gets it done.
This photo was taken just before this actual shot was filmed. In other words, Manning plays some tunes in this movie. Look for his album on the shelves in a few months.
Forrester takes aim and fires.
The McClane brothers sit on the back porch and discuss many important, life-changing topics... such as boobs, guns, motorcycles and whether or not a hot tub with 6 people in it would fall through the cabin's porch and kill everybody in it.
I just seriously wouldn't fuck with this guy.
McClane thought it would be a good time to figure out his budget for the next fiscal year and simultaneously do his taxes. Also important: That gun was loaded.
Yes, second amendment lovers, that's no pellet gun. In fact, it plays a crucial part in this film. It also can kill if it's put into the wrong hands. Like into the hands of a killer. Or a whole shit-ton of fire ants... who also kill. Or, I guess, communists, according to some propaganda I picked up the other day.
"Hmmph," says Forrester, "I never knew that shoes actually came this small. This Chick guy sure makes some damn fine Tracts."
Eager to share his new discovery of "Tiny Shoes," Forrester gladly hands the Tract over to Josh Vesser, who's eager to see Tommy's new discovery.
"Son of a bitch!" exclaims the camera man and deadpan source of humor for the crew, "Tommy was right... these shoes are fucking TINY!!!!"
Vesser's delightful smile caught the attention of McClane, who demanded that Vesser share the Tract with him immediately.
"Well I'll be a son-of-a-bitch's-uncle," screams McClane as he lays his eyes on the tiny, tiny shoes. "This is the smallest goddamn pair of shoes I've seen in my life!!!"
McClane saw Jared's glee from a distance, and politely asked McClane to hand it over so he could examine this special treat. "Check this shit out," says McClane as he hands it over to his dumbfounded family member.
"Dear Lord, how DO they make shoes THIS tiny???" screams McClane, before running over and smashing out the basement window and running through a nearby hayfield.
I hope you enjoyed the pics... be on the lookout for the Dutch Tilt / Gratuitous movie poster and Web site... coming soon!! Check back for updates!!!!
Blown away by those Tiny Shoes,
-McClane
Saturday, August 4, 2007
My Favorite Bruce Willis
A lot of people automatically assume that the DIE HARD series contains my favorite Bruce Willis moments because we share the exact same last name, and some folks look towards "Unbreakable" because I'm such a fan of comic books. In actuality, my very favorite Bruce Willis character is actually Joe Hallenbeck from Tony Scott's 1991 masterpiece, "The Last Boy Scout."
With an amazing screenplay from one of my all-time idols, Shane Black, Willis' Hallenbeck cracks more bad jokes and hilarious one-liners in 105 minutes than an entire Arnold Schwarzenegger boxed set.
However, all the jokes aside, there are some TRULY amazing scenes that dip themselves into classic film noir if you look close. Shane Black is notorious for these touches (please, for the love of God, watch "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" as soon as possible), and it's never been more amazing than in "The Last Boy Scout." Tony Scott is one of my all-time favorite directors (guilty pleasure, so sue me... the man's work is incredible to me), so with that combination, you get some brilliant scenes.
Like this one:
I remember my friend Ben Clingner and I talking about that scene in his basement for hours and hours on end when this movie hit the theaters in 1991. We were probably in the 6th or 7th grade, and seeing a scene like that filled us full of more piss and vinegar than watching 10 consecutive episodes of the A-Team.
Man, I love the 90's.
-M
With an amazing screenplay from one of my all-time idols, Shane Black, Willis' Hallenbeck cracks more bad jokes and hilarious one-liners in 105 minutes than an entire Arnold Schwarzenegger boxed set.
However, all the jokes aside, there are some TRULY amazing scenes that dip themselves into classic film noir if you look close. Shane Black is notorious for these touches (please, for the love of God, watch "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" as soon as possible), and it's never been more amazing than in "The Last Boy Scout." Tony Scott is one of my all-time favorite directors (guilty pleasure, so sue me... the man's work is incredible to me), so with that combination, you get some brilliant scenes.
Like this one:
I remember my friend Ben Clingner and I talking about that scene in his basement for hours and hours on end when this movie hit the theaters in 1991. We were probably in the 6th or 7th grade, and seeing a scene like that filled us full of more piss and vinegar than watching 10 consecutive episodes of the A-Team.
Man, I love the 90's.
-M
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