Out of Commission

Readers, readers, readers.

So hey. What's up? How's life? Doin' well? Get your STD test results back yet?

Yeah, well I'm sitting here at work at 9:00 p.m., enjoying the hell out of my night. Last Wednesday, Knoxville had itself a crazy storm. You know the ones: Lighting. Thunder. Rain. Pulse-pounding, action-packed destruction.

Well apparently this thunder storm really didn't enjoy my last post about junkyards or home-made movies, because it crept into my apartment like a crack-seeking prowler and beat the living shit out of my computer. Yeah, it's pretty broken. It's pretty dead.

I'm here to tell you, readers: if you've got a problem with something I've written on this Tirade, I'd urge you to call me up and ask me to step outside with you like a man. Cowboy up, readers. The last thing you should do is sneak into a man's apartment when he's not looking and pulverize an innocent computer with your bare hands.

You might have well broken my arms, I guess.

So my computer's out of commission, and let's all hope it's just electrical, man. The last thing I need is news that I've lost a billion MP3s and hours and hours of home-made pornography. Trust me, Mandy Moore will be insanely upset if she finds out that her trip to Knoxville was totally wrecked by static electricity and the mighty hand of God.

(It's swift and sure; let me tell you.)

So if you guys are sending me email, keep in mind that I'll have to check it here at work... which will be close to never. Hang in there, and I'll have more news as it develops.

Enjoying being off the grid,

-McClane