In 2004, I used to review the hell out of movies. I worked at a newspaper at the time, and I had this awesome opportunity to steal secret-pre-screening tickets from the editorial department. It's weird, you know, when you steal a ticket and see a movie a few days—or sometimes even a week—early, there's almost an obligation to write about it.
These days it's all about the hype. It seems that the internet has changed the way we view movies and certainly the way they're marketed. I can remember a time before Al Gore invented it, when a nice little horribly edited movie trailer was all we had to go on. Man, those marketing guys really had us by the balls there, didn't they? We'd see a bunch of quick frames of action... maybe an explosion and a few one-liners... and it looked like the best damn movie since Citizen Kane. That's right, I can justifiably compare—via 1980's movie trailers—Citizen Kane to Weird Science.
Think about it, readers, pull it together.
Through a 1980's movie trailer... we couldn't quite get a grip on our heros and villains, we just knew they were good and they were bad. We knew they had awesome teeth. We knew that the last John Hughes movie we saw really got us emotionally involved, so why not take in the next one on faith? We knew, via the trailer, that somewhere in the movie, there's going to be a sex scene. More than likely, we'll see boobs. I'm pretty sure we'll see Jamie Lee Curtis' boobs.
We'd know the plot revolved around the Russians. We'd know that somebody flips a car.
Other than those few little flashes, we didn't know a whole lot about a movie going in. Back then, the actual experience of walking into the theatre on opening night was the ultimate hype.
Editor's Note: I remember seeing Cosmatos' "Tombstone" in the theatre in 1993. The Morristown theatre, to be exact. Riding to that show in the back of Brad Kinkead's hilarious Pontiac... smelling like gas... and walking in there to see Val Kilmer's blood-coughing, pale ass shoot up some fools was the best experience ever.
Back in those days, movies were a complete surprise. No spoilers allowed. (Unless you happened to have read the book, but what the hell kind of lame ass fairy reads books before seeing the movies?)
These days, I don't even get as much enjoyment watching a film as the hype leading up to the damn release date. I think I could literally wait for a movie for three years and enjoy the hell out of it.
Think of all the treats we're handed now. Could you imagine a movie like Teen Wolf coming out today? The action-packed basketball-shooting, van-surfing, Styles' shades-wearing, Chubs whining, Cheese-Weeeez edited trailer. Followed by another one.
The specially released online clips showing Michael J. Fox biting into a beer can, acting in a play or freaking out in the hardware store when some chump blows a dog whistle.
Imagine the multiple movie posters, complete with a full-size lobby sign where you can stick your head through it... so that the cell phone picture your friend takes will have a 7-foot-tall Wolf-man in a jersey holding your severed head like a basketball.
Imagine the online video games. You're Teen Wolf... trying to make the game-winning basket, or van surfing through town, avoiding the grocery carts and old ladies while doing hand-stands.
Imagine the AIM icons, the Michael J. Fox screen savers and desktops. Imagine the Teen Wolf MySpace page. Imagine the Teen Wolf facebook group. I know I'd sure as hell join.
To be honest, to some degree, I'm almost sad when a movie finally comes out. I know that sounds insane, but it's true. The build up and the expectations are just so fun to dwell on. The excitement and speculation... the entire experience is built around the hype.
It seems that when a movie finally pops its cherry, everything's finished. It's all done. Maybe it lived up to the hype. Maybe it didn't. Maybe it was horrible, and it totally crushed your idea of the film. Maybe all those clever marketing elements had you really, really believing in this movie. Maybe when you've finally seen it... you feel almost lied to. You feel tricked. Betrayed by one of your favorite directors or your role-model favorite celebrity.
For the past six months to a year, it's been a wonderful element in your life. "Oh shit, have you seen that new Watchmen trailer???" "Dude, check out the new photos from behind the scenes on the Sex in the City movie! So hot!!!" "I've got to get my ass to the theatre to see Friday the 13th. It looks amazing."
Links are passed around like candy at Halloween. "Go here, check this, look at this, watch this, you've gotta see this, take time to watch this, post this on your MySpace."
All such positive, fun-loving, enjoyable conversations to have. It's all about the hype... then it's released and everything goes to shit.
The movie posters are forgotten, the amazing modern-day edited trailers fade away and the secret movie clips are completely obsolete. There's another short build up when the film hits a DVD release, but it's only a fraction of the initial release date.
Remember when we were tapping our feet, counting down the seconds until we could see The Dark Knight? Good times. We were in the middle of one of the greatest movie marketing campaigns of all time. The Web site was incredibly organic with constant updates and secret mysteries to unlock and uncover. Hidden trailers were planted across the internet. Online games popped up, promising tiny glimpses of the film. The trailers were superbly edited, and magazines such as Empire blew us away with still shots of Ledger that gave little kids nightmares. What a fantastic time!!!
Then, the summer came and went. The movie was huge... I can go on and on about it. But then... the hype was deflated, trailers were old news, movie posters were rolled up and sold... and the amazing ground-breaking Web site has been reduced to a lame DVD advertisement with a reminder about the Oscars it recently won. Now the DVD sits on my shelf in my living room, and I'm damn proud to own it. But that's all she wrote. (Gathering dust, currently.)
In today's insane world of f'n Twitters and Books about Faces and Geothermic-locating phones that think for you and hold your penis when you pee... I'm not sure if the actual films are really as impacting as we think. Maybe we just live in a world of hype. All premise... no clue about the payoff.
Maybe we need to start thinking about some Meta-Movie-Reviews. Maybe in the future, we won't even need to read reviews for the movies themselves... we just need some internet application, Web site or magic phone to gather all the hype for us, and base a review on their findings. Maybe that review could be some kind of hologram. A giant, 7-foot-tall Teen Wolf hologram that reviews hype.
These days, the film is just one tiny piece of the huge puzzle, right?
It's a funnel tip, sucka.
-M
P.S. Have you seen this trailer yet? It'll blow your mind.
2 Comments:
Whatever. Hey, is your right ring finger cut off? Or is it a 'little' finger? Or folded under? If a fox got to it then you have a lot in common with Hope's kitty, Spumoni. She has a stump tail after getting loose in Rock Hill for a few days. And lemme tell you, she is a piece of work. Hmmmmm
every day for the last month i have come in search of tirade. it is the only thing that my new goldfish, winston can eat. every day i have returned home empty handed. i have never seen such hunger as that of a goldfish.
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