Decade Favorites: FILM

Hello readers, thanks for swinging by the Tirade!

This is the 100th post of 2009, and with it I'm super stoked to bring you the first of my "Best of the Decade" series. In the weeks leading up to 2010, I'll be posting up my favorite films, albums, career highlights and personal moments from the first decade of the new century.

We're going to start out with my 25 favorite films of the past 10 years. As a precursor, it's important to emphasize the word "favorite" here. This is a true mixed bag of artistic merit, exceptional achievement and random crap that I really enjoyed watching. The only criteria I've utilized here is my own love for these films.

A ton of times throughout the past 10 years I've walked out of a theatre or ejected a DVD out of my player and thought, "My good Lord that is the best film I've seen in a freakin' decade."

That could be true... but the real test for these kinds of movies, however, is time. I love every single film on this list, but their number ranking is strictly based on my urges to re-visit these worlds and re-experience them all over again. And again. And again. It's based on how they resonated with me throughout the years and how they reached in, squeezed my heart, melted my brain like mercury and cuddled with me softly through more than one lonely night.

For example... before you film geeks out there eat me alive for #25, be sure to read my commentary. These brief write-ups should explain why these films made the cut.

Without further delay, hop on the list train and let it take you to a dream world of magic.

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25. Elizabethtown

Cameron Crowe, 2005

2005 was the worst year of my entire life. I can write 20,000 words on that mess another day, but the reason Elizabethtown is on this list is because of the wonderful connection I felt to Drew Baylor. I can take or leave Orlando Bloom; the actor playing the part isn't what's important to me... it's what the character experiences.

Like Baylor, I always wanted to be a shoe designer growing up. (I swear it's true.) I was also jobless in 2005, but not because I nearly destroyed a multi-billion-dollar company with a bad design. I was, however, responsible for quite a few screw ups and like Baylor, also lost an important significant other.

With nothing left to his name, he returns to his roots... small country town full of family he hasn't seen in years and all the weirdness tacked on with it. When I'd lost all my stuff and ended up homeless, I traveled back home to New Market, TN to post up shop in my parents' garage and met the same kind of weirdness.

I could go on and on about our tragic parallels, but instead I'll focus on the good: Baylor finds his way and develops a relationship with his family. He meets a wonderful lady who inspires him and introduces a completely new life perspective. While I didn't have the woman part, I definitely had the awesome family... and I sure had this film. It's on my list because it gave me inspiration at a time when I needed it the most.

Plus, I loved the hell out of the soundtrack.

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24. The Royal Tenenbaums

Wes Anderson, 2001

Everybody loves this film for some reason or another, and they all usually involve Wes Anderson's trademark quirky style or randomly witty dialogue. I can do with or without that crap... It's on my list for only one reason, and that's the triumph of Gene Hackman.

If you took every single other character out of this film and replaced 'em with the cast of the Cosby Show (or any other lame sitcom), it would still be a force of nature with Hackman at the wheel.

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23. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Adam McKay, 2004

This is, simply put, one of the best comedies of this century, and I say that without any hesitation. Up until this film, Will Ferrell was just a smile and a chuckle. This film transformed him into a mustached God for nearly two hours.

For my part, he's never had a better role, and he's never been funnier—the Will Ferrell buck starts and stops with Anchorman. His supporting cast was unbelievable... it was a time before that Steve Carrell guy (who I'm not a fan of, especially after that 40-year Old Virgin horseshit) blew up and sold out. (What was that movie about him with a God beard and a giant ark or something? Whaaa?)

It was also pre-Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill... two human beings I wish would just fade off into the night somewhere and never come back again.

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22. Half Nelson

Ryan Fleck, 2006

Oh man this one gets me every time. I'm a huge Gosling fan, and I believe this is some of his best work. I love the struggle in his eyes, the conflicting expressions on his face and the absolute bat-shit weird desperation in his actions.

His strange relationship to Shareeka Epps' character is both touching and creepy at the same time, and everything from the superb acting to the wonderful soundtrack enhances it. (Epps, by the way, is amazing in this film... why isn't she getting more work??)

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21. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

Shane Black, 2005

Two words: Shane. Black.

I love the guy's work; he still holds the record of being the highest paid scriptwriter of the 20th Century, and I might be in the minority here when I say this, but... hell yeah. I love this guy's stuff.

It seems like Black has this weird formula when it comes to his films. He takes a big can full of classic film noir as his base... adds in some comic books, your grandad's corny bubble gum jokes, lots of guns, hot chicks who're extremely empowered and a huge book called, "If you were a badass, this is what you'd say in any given situation to own everybody in the room."

For the first time ever, Black actually directed a film that he wrote. Kiss Kiss is a thrilling, hilarious and wonderfully acted movie that contains all the best elements of a Shane Black script, but on a more personal and low-key level. You can tell that he cradled this bitch like a 3-month old baby. Even though the elements are completely cliché and standard, Black always finds a way to make them different and interesting through his own style.

Plus... this is before Downey Jr. was riding on his Iron Man stardom. This movie happened when he was transitioning from being a total maniac to huge film star, and I love this period in his career. His weird, quirky cadence is the perfect fit for his lame-ass pseudo detective in this film, and his narration is absolutely brilliant. (Plus, a gay Val Kilmer? AWESOME!!!)

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20. 28 Days Later

Danny Boyle, 2002

When I was young (probably in middle school), I had this terrifying reoccurring dream that all my friends and family turned into these ravenous monsters with glowing red eyes. They chased me through my entire school and town until I had to leap off some random cliff (and thankfully woke up before I smashed into the rocks or whatever).

I always thought it may have stemmed from watching the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers and that seriously jacked up episode of The Smurfs where all the Smurfs turn into these vicious, purple, flesh-biting maniacs.

Editor's note: a lot of people think I just dreamed this up, but you can CLICK HERE to see highlights from the all-too-real horrifying episode.

Anyway, I was completely shocked to learn that Danny Boyle apparently had the exact same dream when he was younger... because he basically made my dream in England. This is one of the scariest movies I've personally seen, for just that reason.

A lot of people give it a hard time for the third act, and yes, it's a little shaky. However, on multiple viewings, the weird militia climax doesn't take away from the beautiful paranoia and sheer terror of the first two acts.

While these things are not zombies, it gave zombie movies a new reason to live... and I love that.

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19. Brokeback Mountain

Ang Lee, 2005

I don't have to talk a lot to justify this film being on my list. It's one of the two true love stories among these 25, and this one is definitely the most timeless and tragic. It's wonderfully directed and a true testament to Heath Ledger's dynamic range as an actor. Should have won the Oscar over that Paul Haggis crap. Love this film.

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18. Brick

Rian Johnson, 2005

Some call it pretentious, others hate the concept. For my part, I enjoyed every minute. It could be because I'm a huge Gordon-Levitt fan or it could be because I love the hell out of some weird film noir; I'm not sure. Maybe it's because in some ways, Johnson subconsciously (or purposely, who knows?) borrowed some of Shane Black's tricks.

Before you start slinging mud at the script for making it too incomprehensible or completely ridiculous, I'd urge you to watch some busted movie called Juno. The complex lines coming out of that chick's mouth makes watching this movie like sitting through a few episodes of Sesame Street.

For my part, the cinematography was mean, the acting was fun, the plot was interesting and it kept my eyes glued to the screen the entire time without a break. Eat that for supper.

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17. Lost in Translation

Sofia Coppola, 2003

Is it just me, or was the first decade of this century a complete re-introduction to the magic of Bill Murray? Aside from the Garfield fiasco, his work just kept escalating and growing throughout the past 10 years.

Wes Anderson encased him in gold, Jim Jarmusch* put him in a catapult and launched him over the brilliant bridge and Sofia Coppola used him like a nuclear weapon in this film. The guy has turned into some crazy awesome freak of nature.

Scarlett Johansson did her thing and did it pretty well. However, Anna Ferris gets my "favorite female in this film" award. I really want her "action star" movie poster from her fake film in my living room.

To its core, it's just such an interesting movie. It's amazing how wonderful connections can be formed regardless of age (Half Nelson), sex (Brokeback) or with bloodthirsty, disease-infected, cannibalistic monsters (28 Days Later).

*Two of Jarmusch's films, Broken Flowers and Coffee and Cigarettes narrowly escaped this list. Both of which contain some of my favorite Murray performances. His scene with RZA and GZA in Coffee nearly made my heart stop beating.

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16. There Will Be Blood

Paul Thomas Anderson, 2007

Modern American Masterpiece. Enough said here.

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15. Le Pacte des Loups

Christophe Gans, 2001

The Brotherhood of the Wolf is a decade standout for its romance, amazing imagery, mystery, wonderful characters and super-cool direction. The entire concept is just mind-blowing awesome to me: a mysterious ravenous beast is attacking townspeople in a small French province, and they call in a detective / veteran / warrior / badass scientist and his ass-kicking Native American sidekick to investigate and dominate.

Along the way, they uncover fantastically woven conspiracies and some of the creepiest characters ever... all while kicking the hell out of stuff and battling an unstoppable monster that eviscerates anything that gets in its way.

The idea of pairing a scientist detective with a Native American warrior and placing them in a dreary, disturbingly dark French village against a legendary beast is just flat out awesome. If you haven't seen the film, check the trailer and soak in the style.

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14. Narc

Joe Carnahan, 2002

There's a chase sequence at the beginning of this film that wrecked my life.

In the midst of it, a bystander is shot and another is stabbed with multiple needles filled with smack or heroine. The scene is so incredibly intense that I almost had to pause the DVD to catch my breath.

What struck me is the realism. When the lady is shot, dark blood pours out of her by the gallon... with bubbles of air seeping out like soap suds swirling around on the pavement. The shaky camera work paired with hyper kinetic sounds of gasping for air and heavy breathing made my stomach turn. If you've ever seen a true massive gunshot wound, you know that it looks just like this. (I saw one on one of those Faces of Death movies during a riot... some kid got shot point blank in the stomach with a shotgun and it looked identical to this scene.)

If I wanted to personally make a gritty, intense cop drama about a man struggling to escape an undercover world of the worst possible drugs and drama imaginable... I'd cast Ray Liotta and Jason Patrick and try to direct it just like Joe Carnahan. Spot perfect casting and riveting direction etched this one in my brain with a vengeance.

Plus, Jason Patrick has the best damn mustache EVER in this film. I seriously love that guy... he had me at The Lost Boys.

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13. Punch Drunk Love

Paul Thomas Anderson, 2002

Just wow. The work that Sandler does here is only a side note to the beautiful, pure and timeless love story encased in a complete shit storm of nervousness, high tension and absolute ridiculous paranoia.

Watching this thing unfold is like watching a rampaging bull turned loose in a senior citizens' rest home. The old people would at first be terrified and probably pissing themselves, but then they'd learn to accept the bull... befriend it... settle in to its deadly horns and ultimately fall it love with it... making sweet love to it in the biohazard closet where the orderlies store all the shit-covered blankets.

I'm not sure if that last paragraph really made any sense at all, but you get what I mean. It really is a tornado of emotion and it's just so interesting to see Barry Eagan sucked up into it like a fence post.

Plus... the soundtrack was unreal. The Shelley Duvall song melted my heart into paste and there's a track called "Hands and Feet" by Jon Brion on that thing that will seriously make you want to jump through a plate glass window from aggravated terror.

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12. The Descent

Neil Marshall, 2005

Let's face it guys: this film is one of the most original, well made balls-to-the-wall horror films of the 21st Century. It ended up this high on my list for two distinct reasons:

1. I'm horribly claustrophobic.

2. I love the idea of this strong-willed group of women doing whatever it takes to survive.

I think you could base an entire book of analysis on those two points alone, actually. It breaks so many molds in terms of your typical horror movie formulas while at the same time delivering a classic and traditional scare-fest of awesome. I love every second of this film, and no matter how many times I see it... I always leap out of my seat, cringe at every turned corner and damn near have a panic attack at every trip & fall (or upon hearing the words, "I'm stuck").

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11. Children of Men

Alfonso Cuarón, 2006

I'll save you from reading the 10,000 words I could write about this movie by simply saying, "My good Lord, I don't think I've ever seen anything like that." In my opinion, one of the top science fiction films of the past TWENTY years.

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10. Freestyle: The Art of Rhyme

Kevin Fitzgerald, 2000

One of the most heartfelt, real and unbelievably amazing documentaries I've ever seen. Sure, you get to see some of the best all-time freestylers doing their thing and blowing your mind (like the infamous and unbelievable grudge match battle rap between Supernatural and Craig G!!!!), but you also get a look at the amazing deep culture and philosophies behind this art form.

You'll start to realize that rhyming is magic. It's a fascinating element that can bind together people, races and cultures in a way that nothing else can. It's poetry, it's a way of life and it's freedom of expression in its most raw and powerful venue. And it's all right off the cuff.

While watching this film, make sure you don't have any nails or sharp objects poking through the back of your couch, because you'll lean back in your seat no less than 300 times while screaming, "DAAAAAAMMMN!!!!!"

Yeah, it's that good.

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9. A History of Violence

David Cronenberg, 2005

David Cronenberg broke into my house, stole all my breath, beat the hell out of me and Viggo Mortensen drove the getaway car.

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8. The Incredibles

Brad Bird, 2004

Any die-hard, full-blooded comic book fan will hug Brad Bird for bringing this film to life. You've got fistfuls of comic book lore paired with a James Bond-esque plot and wrapped in this lovable blanket of good family lovin'. Who the hell can resist that kind of thing?

I'll tell you who: evil Nazis and/or emotionless robots.

Jus' sayin'... if you're watching this movie with somebody who doesn't love these kinds of elements, they're not even human, bud. Stab them right away.

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7. Spirited Away

Hayao Miyazaki, 2001

This could be one of my favorite adventure movies of all time. I've never seen anything like it. Not only is it visually stunning and gorgeous to view, but its story completely transformed me into a 10-year-old kid again. Miyazaki is becoming legendary for this kind of thing, but Spirited Away is at the top of my chart.

I really can't think about this film without going through this full range of emotion. I go from complete awe to loneliness to fear to hope to joy to love. It's the kind of movie that makes me tear up from watching it... and I'm damn proud of that fact. If you criticize me for my tears, I will bend a tire iron around your jaw... and that's no jive.

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6. The Dark Knight

Christopher Nolan, 2008

Yeah, it's The Dark Knight. I'm not sure what else I can say here.

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5. The Departed

Martin Scorsese, 2006

Yeah, it's The Departed. I'm not sure what else I can say here.

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4. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Peter Jackson, 2001 - 2002 - 2003

Okay, so it could be cheating squeezing three amazing films into one #4 spot, but you can't stop me from doing it. Seriously. What are you really going to do about it? You gonna write me a stern letter? You gonna come over here, smash in my door and wear out the delete button?

Anyway, I keep thinking that this entire Trilogy never actually happened and I dreamed it all up somehow. I mean... really? We actually have three unbelievable Tolkien films that actually happened? Let's face it, these films will be etched in history for a very long time, so I might as well etch all three on my favorite list in one spot.

Because the first question on your stern reprimanding letter to me is "in what order do you rank these movies?" I'll serve up your answer before you can lick the damn stamp.

1. Fellowship of the Ring.

2. The Return of the King.

3. The Two Towers.

Now you can sleep like an angel tonight and save some trees.

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3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Michel Gondry, 2004

I'm not even sure how to handle this movie alone, much less a brief piece of commentary explaining how it ended up at the near top of my list. It's an unbelievable near-perfect (if not pitch perfect) movie in my opinion. Everybody here is at the top of their game and I keep wondering if Kaufman will ever serve up anything as half as amazing as this in his entire career.

This movie is a tidal wave that topples buildings and brains, and I just keep standing out in the rain with no umbrella, waiting to get swept away.

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2. Memento

Christopher Nolan, 2000

I will never forget the feeling of helpless confusion I experienced the first time I saw this film. In a way, it was like learning to walk (or have sex) for the first time. I wish I had a time machine so that I could go back and experience that feeling over and over again.

After you get a grip on it, you'll crave it like a busted, poor-man's James Dean vampire guy craves the delicious flowing blood of some brooding high school chick.

I've seen this film more times than I could ever count, and I swear it gets better and better with each viewing. Nolan and his brother created something extremely special with this one, and it's at the top of the decade for me.

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1. The Accountant

Ray McKinnon, 2001

I know, I know, a lot of you guys haven't seen this one. In 2001, Ray McKinnon wrote and directed a short film with three actors (well, four if you count a three or four second cameo) called The Accountant, and it's stuck with me more than any film in 10 years.

This film takes everything back to the simplest formula ever: good actors, amazing story, fantastic cinematography and wonderful character development & growth. And he does all this amazing work in a little more than 35 minutes.



The tag line for the movie does basically sum up the story:

Can one man—one hard drinking, chain smoking, backwoods accountant, stop a national conspiracy, change the course of history, and save a way of life? It's do-able... but it ain't gonna be purdy.

The O'Dell brothers are at the end of their rope financially and they're about to lose their family farm to the bank. This farm has been in their family for hundreds of years, and now because of some bad financial decisions and the ever-growing threat of vicious and relentless farming corporations, the heart of their family is being completely eradicated.

In their desperation, they turn to The Accountant to turn things around and save not only the O'Dell brothers' farm, but an entire culture. As we learn more and more about the brothers through The Accountant's amazing detective work and superb intelligence, we see the picture getting bigger and bigger for farmers across the nation.

The whole film is shot on a gorgeous homestead in the heart of the South. It looks, feels, sounds and is completely authentically country. I grew up on a dairy farm, and everything about this film feels like home. I've heard it all before.

This filmmaker understands. This guy has been there. This guy has seen this type of thing firsthand and he tells his story so eloquently that you'll feel like you've seen it firsthand as well. Pair that kind of atmosphere with a bold, opinionated, highly intelligent, hard-drinking, hard-smoking maniac accountant who's hell bent on uncovering conspiracies and beating "the man" however he can... and you've got a true experience.

Yes, it's true that this is a short film. I'm not sure that it meets the usual criteria for being on a list that competes with such feature-length monsters as the Lord of the Rings trilogy or The Dark Knight, but its running time didn't stop it from winning an Academy Award for Best Short Film in 2001. This little film is an Oscar winner too... and that should be a testament to the skill, art and good lovin' that went into this movie.

I can't recommend it enough... it will always be one of my most loved films ever made and certainly my favorite film of the last 10 years.

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That should do it for my Top 25 films. Be sure to leave me some comments below. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my ranking or have you leave me some scathing remarks about my picks. Bring the pain.

Happy 2010 readers, let's make it a good one!