G-Spot anyone?

Hey sex fans,

The guys at CNN never cease to impress me. After running Jessica Simpson wild in 2009, they've whipped out an amazing new story to kick off 2010 with a giant-sized orgasm.

Does the G-Spot really exist?

Scientists are hilarious, man. From human genitalia to baby galaxies, it seems like they just never run out of crap to study. Face it, there's a crack team of scientists out there right now diligently studying gobs of decomposed human bones that some meteorite-stricken radioactive shark shit out of its system somewhere in Iceland. And that's just the beginning.

Anyway, these guys are research machines, and CNN loves to tack stories like these onto their daily roster of carnage. It's actually GREAT to see a headline about female orgasms and magic fairy tale erogenous zones next to the stories about murderers and terrorists. I have absolutely no complaints about that choice of editorial filler.

So does this wondrous place of ecstasy really exist somewhere in there? Every single lady that I've known (biblically speaking) in my life (two), have all had completely different thoughts on the subject. It's kind of cool that CNN definitely and objectively smashes head on into this subject matter like an out-of-control battering ram.

I was kind of sad that CNN didn't give some props to the G-Spot's very own website, which is hilariously informative. However, if you're reading this at work... beware of treading into Adult Content Town. There could be some medical illustrations of vaginas that'll induce a variety of uncomfortable and/or awesome reactions from your boss.

The Tirade doesn't discriminate based on G-Spots, so if you've never experienced the mind-shattering, tidal-wave powers of this legendary catapult of euphoria, don't worry. Never give up hope of finding the legend. Dude, if Indiana Jones can find some busted ark full of demons and scrolls or some temple of doom, you can totally get your treasure on.

But guys: don't be worried if your special lady doesn't have one of these units. You might think it's because she's mentally retarded, a recent sex-change patient, some robot, an alien or a weird scientific experiment gone wrong... but God made us all differently for some reason. This totally applies to G-spots too.

Some wise old man once told me that the journey was actually the best part of the quest or something like that. I think he probably meant to say that all the fun is in the search. Or he was just wondering the halls of the nursing home chanting out random stuff about dairy farming and everything that's involved in owning a junk yard business.

(Yeah, you just think I'm kidding.)

Take it from him and me... the G-Spot is out there somewhere.

Go get it in 2010.

-M